If you are a lover of all things Disney, you will be very familiar with the song from Frozen 2- "Into the Unknown,"
And if you live in a house with children who love all things Disney....AND love musicals....AND love to sing, you will be VERY familiar with this song.
In fact, if this is the case, you might be so familiar with this song that you may feel that you don't ever need to hear it again...because it has been sung over and over again in your presence...and the first impression you had of the song (that it would never get old) has proven to be a big fat lie!
THAT is indeed where I am.
But I have to admit, despite my complete and utter loathing for this once beloved song, I may have sang it in my head this morning as my children headed out the door to school...you know....into the unknown.
I had a moment last week, after reading all the inspirational and encouraging messages on Facebook about school and mask wearing (said with heavy sarcasm), where I wondered if it was really the right thing to send them back. For me, this moment didn't have much to do with masks, or political statements, or conspiracy theories, or even my lack of wanting to be responsible for home school. And as much as I hate the idea of our amazing teachers feeling unsafe and forced to teach in uncertain circumstances, this pause was not about that.
This particular pause was about uncertainty...which caused me to feel that all too familiar rush of anxiety. You know, that little voice that takes over the rational part of your brain and starts saying "What if???"
And I realized pretty quickly that this wasn't just the normal "Back to School" anxiety I usually feel for a moment before school starts. This was the uncertainty and anxiety that accompanies sending children back to school in the middle of a pandemic...which is pretty new for all of us, right?
But I have come to understand that for me, the circumstances of the world right now are not really about fear. I don't necessarily feel incredibly afraid, although I think that is definitely a part of it all. I have personally chosen to try to keep fear in check...
Sorry Fear...it's not about you today!
I believe the uncertainty I feel is coming from change. Change is a tricky one. It can be good, or it can be bad. OR, if that wasn't confusing enough, it can be both good and bad at the same time! No wonder change can be so difficult. But this year's theme has been change. And a lot has changed all at once, which has left many of us feeling disoriented...kind of like when we were kids and went to a Birthday party with a piniata. You know, you would be blindfolded and then spun around and around before being turned loose with a giant stick. (Ummm....how is this is a children's game?) I have to admit I liked this one better than pin the tail on the donkey though...I mean, who came up with that one? "Gather round children...I'm going to cover your eyes so you can't see, spin you around until you're dizzy and can barely walk, and then set you loose to tape a tail to a donkey's butt." You get my point...
ANYWAY, back to the pinata. Disoriented! That is how I have been feeling among all this change. And you know what often accompanies disorientation? You got it, Fear!
Well look at that, Fear! It did end up being about you after all!
The bottom line is we are experiencing significant changes in world that has felt very secure and structured for some time now. And it's causing us to feel disoriented and afraid. But guess what...that is all very normal. And not only is it normal...it's totally ok! When we are faced with change we have to find a new normal that helps us feel secure again. AND, we have to work through our feelings of anxiety as they come, because they will.
One of the best ways I have found to work through feelings of fear in the midst of instability is what I like to call the "rubber band" technique. When you think of a rubber band, you automatically think flexibility, right? And it is definitely important to learn how to be flexible...although this is easier said than done (especially when you are feeling anything but flexible.) But there is so much more to a rubber band than the ability to bend. A rubber band is great at holding things together and keeping things securely in place. What are some things we can work on "holding together" and "securing in place" during times of fear and change?
What about our families? Our friends? The relationships we have with others?
How about our physical health? The ability to have a body that works well and feels good.
What about our negative perceptions and attitudes? Is it possible to secure them in place and keep them bound so they don't run havoc through our minds and words to others?
What about our faith? Our beliefs? Our Integrity? How can we secure these things in our hearts so they can be anchors in our times of trouble?
And what how about hope? Can we hold together a hope in future days? Hope that things can and will get better? Hope that we can adapt and overcome?
When we focus on being flexible, adaptable, holding things together, and securing things in place, it becomes easier to overcome fear of the unknown and the anxiety of change. Change can often be necessary, and good! Even when it may look like it's not. Many of us would question being able to find good among the circumstances of this pandemic we are experiencing...but it always depends on how you look at it...as shown in this fabulous video clip.
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